Yet Another Valentine's Day Story
by Lizard Lad
Summary: When Beast Boy is under the affect of a love potion, will Raven be able to keep her sanity? Read or face the consiquences.
1. Something happens

Author's note: I'm back, with an all-new fanfic! This is just a silly little idea that's been hanging around in the deep recesses of my brain, waiting to pounce. If you are anti-BB/Rae, you might still be able to enjoy this. I'll explain later.

Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans. If I did, I wouldn't have to write boring disclaimers like this one.

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It was a normal day in Titan's Tower. Well, not exactly. It was Valentine's Day, and love was in the air. So were oxygen, nitrogen and carbon dioxide, but that's irrelevant. What _is_ relevant is that none of this love was being openly expressed. Confused? Don't worry, all will be clear in five, four, three, two…

"I can't believe Robin and Starfire." Said Cyborg.

One.

"I mean," He continued, "It's obvious that they like each other, but at this rate they'll never admit it!"

"Tell me about it." Beast Boy sighed. "They need to be hit by Cupid's arrow."

"Yeah." The mechanical teen said. "You know…" He suddenly paused. "BB! Say that again!"

"That again." The green boy said.

"No, the other thing." Said Cy, annoyed.

"No, the other thing." BB repeated.

"Never mind!" Yelled Cyborg. "I've got an idea."

"Never mind!" Beast Boy shouted. "I've got an idea."

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Cyborg dialed his communicator-thingy. Hi Hi Puffy AmiYumi's unmistakable tune played, and Speedy's face appeared on the screen.

"Hey, Cy!" The archer exclaimed. "Long time no see!"

"Hi Speedy." Cyborg said. "Listen, I need your help."

"Does Beast Boy need to borrow more of my ointment for his rash?" Speedy inquired hesitantly.

"No, it's nothing like that!" Cyborg said quickly. "It's just that, you have all those different arrows and I was wondering if you have any with, uh… Some sort of love potion in them?"

Speedy gave Cyborg a weird look.

"It's for Rob and Star!" The metal man quickly added.

"Well, why didn't you say so?" The redhead said. "I'm sending a pair over. They get there right about… Now."

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door. Beast Boy opened it to reveal Mas y Menos standing outside, holding a box. Beast Boy took it, thanked them, and brought it over to Cyborg.

"These arrows," Speedy said as Cyborg opened the box, "Contain a chemical that is similar to the love pheromones fond in all creatures. I call it 'infatuation concoction digit-code 3 to the power of 2.'"

Beast Boy reached inside of the box and took out two arrows with heart-shaped tips.

"Since Starfire and Robin already like each other," Speedy continued, "I only put one-half of a dose in each arrow. That way, all you have to do is hit both of them and the chemicals will give them enough of a jolt to make them more open with their feelings. Just remember, they have to be looking at each other for it to work."

"I don't think that will be a problem." Cyborg said. "Thanks for the help Speedy."

"Don't mention it." The Robin look-alike replied. "And Beast Boy, if that rash acts up again, you know how to…"

"Okay, bye!" Beast Boy said quickly as he shut the communicator off.

"Hey, Star." Robin said. "Want to go on a walk into town?"

"I shall accept your proposal of walking in the traditional Tamaranian fashion." Starfire replied cheerfully. She then pulled her arm back and punched Robin in the head.

"Gah!" Robin exclaimed as he lost several brain cells.

"No, friend Robin! To accept my acceptance, you have to _block_ the punch." Starfire corrected. "Let's try again."

"Wha?" Robin mumbled, still dazed by the first hit. Again, the young alien's fist collided with his cranium.

"Just look at 'em." Beast Boy said as he watched the pair from nearby. "They're totally oblivious to each other's affection. Have you ever _seen_ a more awkward crush?"

"I dunno." Cyborg replied. "My cousin Trixie knows a guy who once had a crush on a ski lift."

There was a brief and awkward pause.

"Really?" The shape-shifter asked.

"Yep." The bionic boy replied.

"Well, anyway…" Beast Boy continued. "Rob and Star's problems are about to end. Do you have the arrows ready?"

"Sure thing." Cyborg answered, holding up the arrows and the bow that came with them but had not been mentioned before.

"Perfect." Beast Boy said, rubbing his hands together. "We'd better hurry, it looks like Robin could block that punch any minute now."

Just as he said that, Robin held out his hand, keeping Starfire's fist from colliding with his skull and probably relieving him of the ability to tie his shoes.

"Glorious!" Exclaimed Star. "Now we may depart for our walk of… Walking-ness." She took the dazed boy wonder's hand and turned to go out the door.

Cyborg fitted the arrows onto the bow and aimed them at the two teens.

"Ready…" Beast Boy said. "Aim…"

"What are you two doing?" Raven asked, materializing out of nowhere.

Cyborg, surprised, let go of the bow's string. The two arrows ricocheted off of the walls and ceiling, finally embedding themselves into…

"Yee-ouch!"

…A certain shape-shifter's hindquarters.

Cyborg suddenly remembered something about the chemicals making the victim fall in love with the first person he sees. He also realized that BB had been hit with both arrows, and therefore got a full dose of the stuff.

"Well, just look at the time!" The half-robot said, glancing at his non-existent watch. "Gotta go!" He then ran out of the tower.

"Come back here!" A confused Raven shouted. "What's going on?"

Beast Boy's eyes snapped open.

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A/N: Cliffhanger! Dun, dun, dun! Review, but don't flame. It will be a while before the next chappie is up, so don't think I've abandoned you when a week or two goes by without an update.


	2. Something else happens

Author's Note: Let me begin by saying that I have never gotten so many reviews for one chapter! I'll answer them in a minute, but first I have to explain a comment I made in the first chapter. I said that people who prefer BB/T or whatever to BB/Rae could still enjoy this fanfic without being hypocrites. How? Just imagine that I chose Beast Boy to fall in love with Raven (via the love potion) because it is funnier than if, say, Cyborg did. Thus said, on with the reviews!

**Myst172**: Yes, of coarse I remember you! Who could forget a reviewer who is not only loyal, but also on the brink of insanity!

**AnimeKittyCafe**: Good to see you again! Thanks for the compliments and… I don't have anything more to say.

**BBRaelover4eva**: WHY, THANK YOU! AS YOU CAN SEE, I AM CONTINUING! TYPING IN CAPS IS FUN!

**Whitedarkness**: Yeah, I know, it was a short first chapter. I'm not too good at stretching things out. And I, to, find cliffhangers annoying but necessary.

**NumbuhZero**: Thanks! I have to admit, yours was the first time a reviewer XOXOed me. BTW, if you're the Queen of Gnomes, can you introduce me to that one guy who works for Travelosity? My family takes vacations often.

**MistOfDarkness**: Okay, I'm updating! Now you'd better review, or else!

**The Last**: Oooh, potential! According to my dictionary, that's a good thing!

**RobinBelongsWithStarfire**: Um, I don't think u will b getting any "rob n star" fluff anytime soon.

**Teleportal**: Uh, the slack-jawed staring is a _good_ thing, right?

**Chibi Scooby**: Thank you!

**LadyOfRandomessThe1st**::excited squeel: THANKS! THAT REVIEW WAS BLOODY AWSOME!

**Flamma**: You are very welcome. Sorry about the cliffhanger.

**FantasyObsessed**: Glad to know it!

**Lizard Lad**: Leave me alone! Can't you see I have enough on my plate without having to answer my own reviews! Jeez, what a spaz.

**Silversilk-89**: You're the first person to notice the ski lift thing! I'm impressed.

**TeenRAVENtitan**: Again with the potential! Well, I hope this chapter turns out to be as full of ROTFL-goodness as the last one.

**Ryuu no Taiyo**: (Adopts gangster voice) Did you say I _amuse_ you? Am I like a _clown_ to you? An _amusing_ clown? That _amuses_ people? In _amusing_ ways?

**TeenTitansforever**: Thank you. Here's your update!

**Cassandra-Cruxshadows**: You are very welcome, Dude.

Disclaimer: I don't really feel like making a funny comment about how I don't own Teen Titans. Make your own, Mr. Creativity!

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We had just abandoned… I mean, left Raven when Beast Boy's eyes opened after being hit by the love-potion-arrow-thingies. Let's return and see what happens. Like you don't already know.

As Beast Boy's eyes opened, he looked up to see… Raven, the most beautiful girl in the entire universe. He suddenly was greatly attracted to all of her features, from her soft, purple hair to the way she recoils in disgust when Starfire offers her pudding.

"Are you okay?" She asked warily as she propped his head up.

"I am now." The shape-shifter said dreamily.

"Good." The telekinetic girl said, letting his head hit the floor.

"You're purty." Beast Boy said goofily.

"Why thank you," replied Raven, "I suppose I… Wait, what?"

She turned around to see Beast Boy staring at her with hearts in his eyes. This was strange because (a), he had only ever looked at Terra, tofu or mopeds like that, and because (b), the heart is normally located in the chest cavity.

"I like you." He said.

"Okay…" Raven said warily. "Do you mean normal-like, or like-like?"

"Like-like." He said simply. "Wanna watch a movie?"

"A normal movie that we both would actually enjoy," She asked, "Or a romantic movie that you think I would like but would actually make me feel totally awkward?"

"Actually," Beast Boy replied, "I have a classic feel-good in mind that we'll both like!"

"Sure." Raven said, still sensing danger. 'I hope he gets over this soon,' she thought. 'I mean, he's okay and all, but this could be a problem if any villains try to attack.'

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Meanwhile, in Slade's evil lair o' doom…

"Welcome to my first hosting of the annual Villain's Legion of Evilness meeting." Slade said proudly to a crowd of various rouges, scoundrels and all-around naughty people. "Are there any questions before we get down to business?"

"Yes, I have one." Said a spectral man in the back. "Why do you always have that goldfish bowl sitting on the stool next to you? It's not like the fish _needs_ to be here."

"Do not mock my Dennis, Vlad!" Slade replied sharply, placing a gloved hand on the water-filled bowl beside him. "Any _real_ questions?"

"How come we don't just attack these 'Teen Titans' of yours now, as one giant force, instead of having a inefficient meeting?" Questioned a random mad scientist. "Their destruction would remove a large obstacle in our path to world domination."

In response, Slade pushed a small button, sending the evil doctor hurtling down a seemingly bottomless hole.

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"Ace Ventura: Pet Detective? _This_ is a romantic movie that we both will enjoy?" Raven asked.

"Actually," Beast Boy said, "I was going to pick Master of Disguise, but I decided to go for a more classic alternative."

"You know what, I'm not really interested in a movie right now." The purple-haired empath said.

"How about a picnic, then?" The green-eyed shape-shifter suggested.

Raven shrugged. "Why not."

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"See?" Said Beast boy cheerfully as he sat on a checkered blanket next to Raven. "This is the best part of the whole island. The ground is warm; there are lots of grass and flowers, and even in the winter the snow never settles here."

"Beast Boy…" Raven said, her face slowly turning green. "We're over the septic tank."

Cupping her hands over her mouth, the Azarathian ran into the tower. A few seconds later, a flush was heard and two new dandelions sprouted up from the ground.

"Well, that explains some things." Beast Boy mused. "But I get the sense that dear, sweet Raven isn't enjoying my company. Time to do something I normally try to avoid… Read a book!"

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The Complete Dunderhead's Complete Guide to Women lay open on Beast Boy's lap.

"Let's see…" He said, rubbing his chin. "Tip #K475 says: 'Girls like guys who can speak foreign languages… Well, I am fluent in Newtish!"

He transformed into a small, green newt and made a high-pitched "Ik-ik-ik-ik-ik-ik-ik-ik" noise.

"Of course," He continued, shifting back into human form, "I have no idea what that means. Hmmm… Tip #L337 says: 'It's groovy to wear shoes that are as tall as physically possible, ya dig?' What the… Just how old is this book?"

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A/N: Will love-potion-influenced Beast Boy get Raven to fall for him? Will Raven be able to escape from said Beast Boy? Will Cyborg do anything worth writing about? And when, oh when, will they make an Artemis Fowl movie? Stay tuned!


	3. So Very Sorry

Author's note: I really hate doing this to you all, but I have to go on a family vacation that lasts until October. We're going out west, and I won't be able to update. Not to worry, for when I get back, reviews will be answered and the thrilling (not really) conclusion to the fic will finally be up. Until then, enjoy some filler.

Disclaimer: I own a surprising amount of things in this chapter, but not all of them. Use logic to figure out which ones.

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"Hello." Said old "Teen Titans: Next Generation" character Robin "Bluefire" Grayson as he stepped into view. "Today I'll be giving you a tour of my creator's mind and what you should expect from it in the near future. But first, a little background."

A screen came down showing a fifteen-year-old boy with glasses and dark hair. "This is the face of the fanfiction author that you all know as Lizard Lad." Explained Robin. "He got the idea for his first fanfiction, The Adventures of Harriet and Rowan, during a car ride when he pondered if Harry Potter's name might be short for Harriet. Since then, the story has been discontinued."

The image on the screen changed to a cartoon depicting a pair of talking cows. "This is an example of the now-retired comic The Far Side. Its creator, Gary Larson, is Lizard Lad's personal idol. I don't blame him, the man's a flippin' comedic genius!" Robin quickly regained his composure. "Moving on…"

The screen' image switched to the words "Coming Soon."

"In the near future," Robin continued, "Lizard lad plans to release an Artemis Fowl fanfiction that deals with the elusive subject of the Tooth Fairy. Later on, expect a possible Teen Titans crossover/self-insert fic and maybe even some Star Wars stuff."

"Oh, and FYI," Robin said, "Lizard Lad's best friend, ElfKingofDemons has released a new chapter for her Yu-Gi-Oh story "Radishes". If you like the show, check it out! Well, that's all for now. Just remember, don't panic and never underestimate the power of the dork side. Right guys?"

"Rockin' idiots!" Sokka replied, going into an air-guitar solo.

"What he said!" Ron Weasley added, joining in on his air-drum set.


	4. One last thing happens

Author's note: I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry for taking so long! Please spare my vital organs. I wasn't slacking; I had to go on a family vacation! Which ended in October. And I had to do school! Except in the afternoon and weekends. And I had to play Sims 2! Which is technically slacking. I guess I've just lost the will to write fanfics. BUT DO NOT FEAR! I shall deliver you this last chapter, my loyal fans. And maybe a sequel to Deception (Dun, Dun, Dun!). Maybe.

Oh yeah, I almost forgot: To ensure that this chapter does not get any later; I will have to skip over the reviews. Thanks for understanding.

Dedication: To grilled cheese sandwiches, for tasting so good.

Disclaimer: I own nothing. At least, not until Phase Beta of my master plan is complete.

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"Oh, Derek!" said Maria.

"Oh, Maria!" said Derek.

"Derek!" said Maria.

"Maria!" said Derek.

"Aflack!" said the duck.

_Click_, said Raven's remote as she switched the channel.

"Hey, Tom!" said the guy in the commercial. "Are you experiencing burning pains, loss of breath, and your hair, clothes and skin being on fire?"

"OhmyGodI'monfire!" screamed Tom as his body crackled merrily.

"Then you should try…" said the guy, pulling out a fire extinguisher, "FLAME-B-GONE!"

_Click_.

"Welcome back to Big Amazing Survival Factor Idol!"

_Click_.

"Tonight on The Apprentice: Slade had narrowed it down to four contestants. Who will win the prize of being an evil genius's protégé, and who will have to hear the words 'You're fired, now I'm going to zap you with these nano-bot things?'"

_Click_.

"When there's trouble, you know who to ca…"

_Click_.

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Elsewhere, the smitten Beast Boy had devised a new plan to win Raven's heart: the old "sneak-into-her-room-and-find-out-what-she's-into" technique. He had snuck into her empty lair without setting off any traps, but he was still wary.

"Now," he said, "Let's see what we can find." His first discovery was that Raven had a thing for weird statues. "I wonder what these would get at Antiques Roadshow… Nah." Next he checked the bookshelf. "Hey!" he exclaimed. "Harry Potter and the Halfblood Prince! I especially liked the part where…"

_**SPIOLER ALERT!**_

_**SPOILER ALERT!**_

_**SPOILER ALERT!**_

"…Ron gets bling-bling."

_**END OF SPOILER ALERT!**_

_**END OF SPOILER ALERT!**_

END OF SPOILER ALERT!

The shape-shifter tossed the book aside. "Man!" he said in frustration. "None of this stuff is helping me! I guess I'll just have to use Plan B."

Oh no! Not Plan B!

"Yes," Beast Boy affirmed, "Plan B."

But it's never been tested! A fusion reactor of that size exposed to that much bubble gum could take out the whole city!

"No, not that Plan B! The _other_ Plan B."

Oh.

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_Click_.

"And now back to The Winx Club!"

"Noooooooooooo!" screamed Raven. "It burns us!"

_Click, click, click, click, click_.

"In the last episode of Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo…"

"I just don't get this show." Raven said.

"I think that's the point." Stated Beast Boy, suddenly appearing next to her on the coach.

Raven turned to her teammate. "Look, Beast Boy," she said, "I know you like me, but I'm not sure about spontaneously being in a relationship with someone who considered me just a friend until this morning. What I'm trying to say is, let's take this slow, okay?"

Beast Boy thought about it. "Take it slow? Okay, I can do that." He took a ring out of his pocket. "Will… You… Marry… Me…?"

Raven's flight was faster than sound, so it took a second or two for her screams to reach Beast Boy's ears.

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"Let's see…" Cyborg said as he stared at the menu. "Do I want the triple-decker mondo-burger with a large shake and fries… Or do I want the triple-decker-mondo-burger with a large shake and onion rings?"

"There are people in line behind you, sir," said the Mega Burger cashier with the voice of one who is dead inside and poorly paid outside.

"We're starving!" exclaimed a random man. "I was eligible for a Kiddy Meal when I got in line!"

"I guess I'll have the…" Cyborg was cut off by a shadow suddenly flying towards him at mach four and ghosting him through the wall.

"Huzzah!" exclaimed the people in line.

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The shadow, with Cyborg in tow, flew across the bay and into the Titan's Tower. It phased through the doors, and zoomed into the basement. There it set Cyborg down, turned into a very terrified looking Raven, and started to nail the basement door shut.

"What's going on?" asked the baffled bionic boy.

"There's something terribly wrong with Beast Boy!" Raven said in a frightened whisper.

"Yeah, I expected that," said Cyborg, "That's why I left the tower."

Raven turned around slowly. Her eyes were blazing with a white-hot fury, like they do every other day. "What do you know about this?" She asked in the most intimidating way possible.

"Oh, he's just under the affects of this chemical-thingy Speedy sent us." Explained Cyborg.

"THEN CALL SPEEDY!" Raven cried. "CALL HIM! HE MAKE BETTER! HE MAKE BETTER OR I BREAK HIS SKULL!" The stress was eroding at her grammar skills.

"Okay, okay, I'll call him!" Cyborg hurriedly replied. He took out his communicator. "Drama queen." He added under his breath.

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Meanwhile, at the headquarters of Teen Titans: East, exciting things were happening!

"I can't believe you got fish tacos again!" moaned Aqualad.

Okay, so I lied.

"Relax, will ya?" Speedy replied, taking another bite. "The odds of this being anyone you know are… Ack! Hack! Hawk!" Speedy began to choke. As he beat his chest, the object that had clogged his esophagus went skidding across the table.

Aqualad picked it up in his trembling fingers. It was small, flat and orange.

"THE LUCKY FIN!" He screamed. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

Suddenly, Speedy's communicator rang. He flipped it open. "Yello?" he said.

"Hey, Speedy, this is Cyborg." said Cyborg. "I need to know… When should that love-potion-thingy wear off?"

"I should wear off after about an hour." Speedy replied. "Love to talk more, but I gotta go. I think Aqualad's trying to commit suicide." He clicked the communicator shut.

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One hour later, at Titan's Tower…

"Sorry about that, Rae." Beast Boy apologized, rubbing the back of his head sheepishly.

"Don't worry about it." Raven replied, waving her hand dismissively. "It was nothing a few years of intense psychological therapy can't clear up. I'm just a little peeved that you two brought those arrows into the tower in the first place."

"Well, it was for a good cause!" Cyborg said defensively. "We were going to get Robin and Star together!"

"I have glorious news, friends!" exclaimed Starfire, walking in the door that very minute, "Robin and I are now boyfriend and girlfriend! Ether that or Robin wants to ride a penguin to the moon. I think he suffered a concussion when I accepted his invitation of walking."

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"AND SO," croaked the anthropomorphic crow lounging in his armchair, "VALENTINE'S DAY HAD A HAPPY ENDING AFTER ALL. BUT WHAT OF AQUALAD'S ATTEMPTED SUICIDE? AND DOES ROBIN _REALLY_ WANT TO DATE STARFIRE? I DON'T REALLY CARE."

"THE," it half-screamed, "END!"

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A/N: Uh… Ta da!


End file.
